Blind
by michigandarlin
Summary: Kurt gives up on Kitty while rebounding with Amanda after Tabitha. Kurt's many views on many of his pairings.
1. Truth Hurts

Blind-Chapter 1  
  
  
  
I want you to be free  
  
Don't worry about me  
  
And just like the movies  
  
We play out our last scene  
  
You won't cry  
  
I won't scream  
  
-'Movies' AAF  
  
  
  
I stretched my arms, prepared for another tedious day of scrubbing the X-jet. I was so glad my sentence was almost over, I was almost free of labor. Besides, all that buffing had made my fur stick together in clumps. It was gross and hard to brush out. I pulled on a ripped old t-shirt that Kitty had said looked cute on me (naturally I try to wear it as often as I can now) and some shorts. I stepped out of my room and padded down the hall, savoring the smell of breakfast cooking. Nothing like fatty bacon and greasy sausage to start out your morning, ja? I decided to take the easy way to the table, so I ported to my seat. I landed in my spot, but someone else was in my seat. I looked up and yelled, porting across the room. "Vaht the hell.........?!" Lance Alvers was lounging in my chair, laughing at me. I just sat there, numb. I could feel the professor trying to communicate, so I let him inside my head while I just sat there, staring at the dirty bastard whose name happened to be Lance. ::Kurt, I want you to accept Lance into the family. He has come here with best intentions.:: I shut the proffesor out, growling. ::Ja, he came here for my Katzchen.:: I got over my initial shock and sullenly walked over to an empty seat next to Ororo. I heard Lance talking to Kitty and suddenly my world went spinning. I have delt with her rejection (s) with a smile and a wink, I was never one to wear my feelings on my sleeve. But now.........now I just felt like I was someone who had fits every second, and I was about to have break. I felt hot tears well up in my eyes and I let out a strangled cry. I felt all of their eyes on me and I felt like I was on display, a feeling that made my paranoid, like an animal. I covered my face and ported to the docking bay, hoping none of them followed.  
  
  
  
Five minutes later I stopped crying and decided to take my mind off of things with mind numbing labor, and waxing the X-jet fell perfectly into that catagory. I was working on the wind shield when I heard voices, so I decided to look for a place to hide. I wasn't ready to face anyone about my little issue this morning, it was akward already. Just as two people walked into the room I ported to the underside of the jet, where I clung protected and out of site. I saw two chatting pairs of shoes stop and lean against the side of the jet and I was happy I could be invisible in the shadows. Once my heartbeat slowed down I began listening into to the conversation and was surprised to hear the voices of Jean and Scott, the masters of unresolved romantic tension themselves. Their conversation was boring and casual, and it made me want to throw up whatever was in my unbreakfasted stomach. They were so into each other it was unreal. I was to the point of falling asleep and falling onto the deck when their conversations took a turn to a more interesting subject. Kitty. "Do you know what's up with Kitty? I mean, Jean, going for Lance can't be a healthy fascination." I heard Jean laugh as her shoes moved closer to Scott's. "Scott, it's perfectly normal for her to like the bad boy at her age. I mean, the goodies don't appeal to the ladies as much." ::I can relate.:: I thought bitterly, the burning tears returning to my eyes. Scott spoke again. "Yeah, but Lance has barely batted an eye at Kitty and she fell at his feet. Kurt has been throwing himself at her and all he gets is rejection." Jean sighed and took a step away from Scott. "Kurt isn't normal, Scott. Kitty goes for the normal type. You know, tall and handsome, not furry and blue. I'm sure she'll come around to Kurt in the future. With a sweet guy like him, who wouldn't?" My stomach twisted into a painful knot and it was hard to listen with my heart pounding in my ears. Scott laughed. "Too bad she doesn't go for the endearing type. Do you know what Kurt calls her?" Jean's shoes took a step back towards Scott as her voice answered, "Mein Katzchen. Ugh, that girl is so blind! Maybe I could drop some subtle hints around for her to see. If all else fails we could always beat her in the head with a stick." They walked out of the room laughing just in time. I walked to the wall and sat down, crying. The truth hurts when it's spoken.  
  
AN: NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I HURT KURT!!!!! *Sobs* Well, I'm going to put him through a lot more just to get the girl. If I decide he gets the girl. Oh, this is set during joyride. I hate that episode!! Anyway, stay tuned, more angst on the way! *puts away Lance bashing bat* I don't get to use this at all......... 


	2. Time Goes By and Then You Blink......

Chapter Two- Can't Look Back  
  
  
  
I don't want the world to see me  
  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
  
When everything's made to be broken  
  
I just want you to know who I am  
  
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Amanda. Heh, last week she was just 'that girl in math class' but now she's '*the* girl'... Which is nice, in a strange way. She didn't question my looks, although she did recoil tonight.... Schiesse, I am *so* confused right now. Nothing really made any sense since Tabitha left....  
  
Now Tabitha is another story. She is just so....just so, well, to be blunt, she is the non-commited type, if you catch my meaning. She *flirted* with everyone with no sense of pride, no innocence. She would be perfect for Lance. Pushy, gets what she wants, use-abuse-trash 'em..... Maybe I judged Lance wrong. But I know Tabitha. And I wish I didn't.  
  
Now to the source of my problems, my world, and my flirting schedule. Kitty. Untouchable. Half the time I am around her my mind screams 'Angel! Beautiful! Smells nice! Tastes nice? Probably, why not find out....?' while on the other side of my brain some demon screams, ' NO! Innocent! STAY AWAY! Touch her with one furry finger and you'll regret it, freak!' I hate that side of my brain. I know it's right. I'll let Lance touch her, hold her, love her.... But all the while he does my brain seems contented while my heart is trying to harm Lance in all ways possible with a baseball bat. But it's in those times that little voice says- 'Maybe I was wrong....He is more a monster than you...' I hate that voice.  
  
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I woke up the next morning mangled up within a cucoon of blankets, and instantly wished I hadn't. "Like, Lance! You are so crude! Like, I'll remember. Banana chapstick or Strawberry? Why? I *need* to know your fave flavor, silly! Why? You're gonna have to find out, baby........." And that is why I hate my room being right next to Kitty's. Her telephone schedule is always: Lance, Lance, Lance... I walked over to the caller I.D. on my desk and flipped through it, ever the nosy one.  
  
  
  
Lance, Lance, Lance, Lance, Lance, Pietro's cell...hm, gonna have to check up on *that* one....I flipped some more, and one from this morning caught my eye. Amanda- Personal Line. I felt my chest constrict. Amanda... Memories of last night flooded into my mind as I picked up the phone, preparing to kick Kitty off. I needed to talk to *Amanda*.  
  
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-Flashback-  
  
  
  
"So now I know why you always smell like Citre Shine...." Amanda purred, sipping her milk shake. I grinned at her over my triple chocolate chocolate death bomb and nodded, noticing how Amanda was *actually* eating. Unlike Kitty or Tabitha, who were both bone thin. Kurt was impressed, she didn't care about her weight for him... He decided to test her a bit, just to be sure. "So, Amanda, do you like gut bombs?" Amanda's eyes widened and she swollowed her sip of milklshake, smiling as she licked off her milk- mustache. "Do I! I *love* gut-bombs! I pick one up before school everyday!" Kurt grinned crazily and raised his arms to the sky, ice cream long gone. "Really? So do I! Maybe iI could walk you there sometime....?" The question just lingered and both were eager to change the pace of the conversation.  
  
  
  
"Um, Amanda, I've been meaning to ask you..." Kurt muttered, looking everywhere but at her. Amanda braced herself, taking in a breath. "What?" Kurt fidgeted uncomfotably for a minute, before answering, "Why do you like me? I mean, it's not natural...." Amanda reached across the table and took his hands in hers. "Because it feels like I've known you forever, Kurt. Like we were meant to be in another world...."  
  
I was speechless.  
  
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I hung up the phone, not having the heart to kick Kitty off. Instead, I grabbed my jacket. I knew where Amanda's house was. I walked her home after the ice cream and could port there easily. I hesitated as Kitty's voice drifted into my ears, her tone fluctuating rapidly between excitement and something else. "But Lance, when I see you this afternoon I have to warn you....I haven't done this before...." Something in me snapped and something healed. I pulled on my jacket and ported to Amanda's house without thinking, I had to get away from Kitty.  
  
  
  
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AN: Yes, set after Shadow Dance. The episode was alright, but too much Rogue/Risty insinuation *shivers*. Please Reveiw, I want to make this a constant story. Oh, I'll update everything (EVERYTHING) else soon. 


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